2 weeks...

That's it. Just 2 more weeks until Spring Break. I feel like I'll be home free after that. This has probably been one of the most challenging years of my life. I'm more than ready for a break.
As a random thought, I just realized that my students will be taking the 1st half of their state test TWO DAYS after we get back from Spring Break. That's ridiculous. I'm pretty worried about this.
After that, we'll have 1 month to get ready for the 2nd half and then it's out of my hands. We're going to read a book, hopefully one that I can find a movie to, and finish out the year.
I've come to realize that teaching is not for me. Not for right now. I'm not where I need to be personally to manage the work load, the stress, and it seems that I am less able to give up on students than many of the teachers I've come across in the schools that I've worked with. I can't tell you how frustrating it has been to find out from a teacher in my school that he or she didn't bother to push the students. This person said to my face, "They could barely identify adverbs, so what was the point?" What's the point?? The point is YOU GOTTA GET THEM TO IDENTIFY ADVERBS!! So that by the time they get to my class, the students aren't asking me the same questions over and over ("What's an adverb?) or giving the wrong answer when I ask it ("What does an adverb modify?" "A NOUN!!" "...No...") or just looking at me with blank stares. The point it for them to know the basics before they get into my class where they have to know collective nouns (are we talking about the whole or individuals in the group? It matters...), and participial phrases and many other unnecessarily named sentence structures. How in the WORLD are my students going to do well in my class, because I'm going to push them, if you don't start teaching them what push looks like?
I'm also frustrated when students confirm that their previous English teachers didn't teach them. A student of mine was the last person to leave the room at the end of the day. I told her, somewhat jokingly, that her group didn't know how to do group work (in fact, most of the class didn't) because I saw a lot of copying of answers and very little conversation. She said her old teacher didn't teacher didn't teach them how to do group work. She then told me a story of how once, she never took a test in this teacher's class, but brought in 20 boxes of tissue, so she got a 100 test grade (bonus points for supplies). I was quietly fuming.

I've been plagued with guilt all year because I haven't been able to help my students. And these types of situations are a big part of the reason.